tonight at 3:09 am is the 1 year anniversary of Lilah’s arrival into the outside world. we are thrilled to have spent the last year with you, baby girl!

here is a poem I wrote for you when we were waiting to see you for the first time.

still waiting for a beginning in a series of beginnings, i frown, impatient. i can not possibly ready myself, this world for you but
you are coming and we will welcome you
so small yet you can hurt already, you can want, you are entire
you are whole and i am more than whole with you
inside. i am too big, i am two
we are two we are coming apart from our merged lumps
i am impatient to be one again, to feel you slide out and to look you in the face, to hear you scream and
tell me you are someone
and i will always carry you inside
inside my thoughts and inside my sea of love for you, for this family, connected
beyond any day, beyond any conversation we are
the same, we are one, we belong.
there is no argument.
instead there are ever lengthening strands of time and love that follow every movement we make, you
and i and us
long before the cord that gives you blood and oxygen is cut, long before you
develop a belly button scar from the physical connection we have while you’re inside me, there was a
stronger cord, one that is made of crazy linked proteins in our genes and of love and
i hope that you feel it forever
a net, a web, a line of color and minutes and consciousness
from me to you from
you to me and back and back
and back

at long last…

here they are! presenting the new pictures:

If you click on the pictures they will open bigger so you can see them better.

Gavin and Lilah cuddle on the couch

Cuddling (or possible scheming)

Lilah poses on the couchwalk

Fun together

Gavin getting the tubtoys clean

Excited about a toy

but I haven’t had a chance to upload any yet.  hopefully soon I will find the time.  In the meantime, here’s an update.

Gavin is speaking more and more and singing too.  He is loving being in a two kid household as he has discovered some new techniques for playing with his sister.  He calls her “babywawah” and he runs up and down the hall calling her to come after him.  He also uses his empty juice cup to try to lure her.  He loves to give her hugs and help to take care of her.  He’s always urging us to give her more babyfood and if we aren’t quick enough he will head over to manage the situation himself.

Lilah is sooo big now.  Not abnormally so, just she’s such a different baby than she was 11 &1/2 months ago.  She’s standing unassisted for a few seconds and mimics noises and nods her head and waves.  She is always hunting for food and she adores her big brother.  She gets so excited when she sees him she waves her arms around.  Lilah loves music and will do a little bobbing baby dance to tunes she particularly likes.

They are sharing a bedroom now which they see to enjoy.  Lilah wakes up in the night often, but doesn’t seem to disturb Gavin most of the time.  Of course, seeing as he can sleep through her screaming two feet away from him in the back of the car I’m not too shocked by this.

Gavin still loves to cuddle and give kisses and hugs and I am so grateful that he hasn’t outgrown affection.  I hope he never does.  I realized recently that Gavin’s spoken language is different than other kids his age because his vocabulary is so much more limited, but his comprehension is the same.  So, some words he uses have many separate meaning and can carry a whole set of instructions or expectations in ways that usually only happen in very sparse poetry.  I only realize the basis for this when we are with other people who are baffled by a single word Gavin says has a much more elaborate meaning to him and to me, coming from him.  I wonder if this will effect his later communication or if it will just be left behind as his vocabulary becomes larger.  As an example:  the word “water” coming from Gavin can mean any of the following:  I’d like to wash my hands 17 times in a row, it’s raining, I’d like a bath, I need to pee,  I see a liquid substance that isn’t juice, there is a wet spot that needs to be cleaned up.  The word “green” means any color, something green, a marker, a crayon, I’d like to color, I’d like to draw.  I think it’s fascinating how something I commonly perceive as a preset group of rules that apply equally to all people are actually very fluid.