tonight at 3:09 am is the 1 year anniversary of Lilah’s arrival into the outside world. we are thrilled to have spent the last year with you, baby girl!

here is a poem I wrote for you when we were waiting to see you for the first time.

still waiting for a beginning in a series of beginnings, i frown, impatient. i can not possibly ready myself, this world for you but
you are coming and we will welcome you
so small yet you can hurt already, you can want, you are entire
you are whole and i am more than whole with you
inside. i am too big, i am two
we are two we are coming apart from our merged lumps
i am impatient to be one again, to feel you slide out and to look you in the face, to hear you scream and
tell me you are someone
and i will always carry you inside
inside my thoughts and inside my sea of love for you, for this family, connected
beyond any day, beyond any conversation we are
the same, we are one, we belong.
there is no argument.
instead there are ever lengthening strands of time and love that follow every movement we make, you
and i and us
long before the cord that gives you blood and oxygen is cut, long before you
develop a belly button scar from the physical connection we have while you’re inside me, there was a
stronger cord, one that is made of crazy linked proteins in our genes and of love and
i hope that you feel it forever
a net, a web, a line of color and minutes and consciousness
from me to you from
you to me and back and back
and back